In the proud tradition of 'You Might be a Redneck If...' and 'You Might be a Computer Geek If...', comes

You might be a Furry if . . .


Last updated 12-1-99!
Now up to 241! jokes
(contributed by)
top pick

Nimh | The Lion King | The Fox and the Hound | 101 Dalmations | Fursuits | Fandom | Lifestylers | Godzilla | Taco Bell | Space Jam | Plushies | Pets | Lingo | Other | Yiff Definition

Terry Knight's You know you're a furry fan when... (79)
G. Raymond Eddy's You Might be a Furry If...(35)
Cloudchaser's You Might be a Furry If...(60)

The Secret Of Nimh

  1. you sing Flying Dreams in the shower.
  2. you have a life sized Brisby plushie
  3. you've seen 'The Secret Of Nimh' more often than you've had a birthday.
  4. you've won more than 3 consecutive 'Name Mrs. Brisby' contests, with different names.
  5. you have dreams about finding a digitally remastered, widescreen copy of 'The Secret of Nimh'.
  6. you keep a female field mouse in a birdcage as a pet.
  7. you have the unabridged script to 'The Secret Of Nimh' posted on your living room wall.
  8. you warm up your instrument with the first bars of 'flying dreams'.
  9. you use 'The Secret Of Nimh' to connect a star to Kevin Bacon.
  10. the alpha male of your family pack recorded your copy of "The Secret Of Nimh"
  11. you don't know who directed 'Star Wars', but have a signed picture of Don Bluth.
  12. you made a flight sim mod that simulates a mouse riding a crow.
  13. you know what the she-ra reference is in "The Secret Of Nimh". (if you do, e-mail me!)
  14. you can recite the entire script to "The Secret of Nimh", not just line by line, but frame by frame.
  15. you have nightmares about Nimh 3

The Lion King

  1. you think that Kiara alone justifies any lion/blonde jokes.
  2. you know what the beer joke is in Simba's Pride.
  3. you think the only reason Shenzi, Bonzai, Scar, Nuka, Kovu, Zera, an Ed all failed to kill Simba is because Vitani hasn't had a try yet.
  4. you think Ed, Edd and Eddie means the horse, the hyena, and the radio psychiatrists dog
  5. you can list five physical similarities between Vitani and Cadpig
  6. you spent your Disneyworld vacation in the arcade playing the Lion King Game
  7. you spent $5000 on a brand new PIII to emulate the SNES Lion King Game
  8. you have ever performed a 'Rafiki Lee' maneuver
  9. you think blonde jokes are unfair to lions
  10. Scar changed your accent from deep southern to slightly English
  11. Scar singlehandedly improved your vocabulary by 30 words.
  12. you decide to start watching the Arsenio Hall Show, since Timon and Pumbaa seem to like it so much.
  13. you have a videocassette entitled 'the best of Vitani'
  14. you think "Best of Vitani" is redundant
  15. you can recite the entire Lion King script, but can't remember how Titanic ended.
  16. you headbang to any part of the Lion King soundtrack
  17. you thought Nathan Lane's crowning achievement was Timon in The Lion King.
  18. your idea of a perfect woman has sapphire eyes, golden fur, and a Swahili name. (with apologies to G. Raymond Eddy)
  19. you use a tape of The Lion King to fine tune your TV color and contrast
  20. your internet browser defaults to,,or
  21. you know which of the previous URL's is nonexistent
  22. you go to anyway, just in case
  23. you think it's cool that Mufasa endorses cell phones
  24. you spent more than $1000 (or regional equivalent) to get to New York to see The Lion King on Broadway.
  25. you went more than 100 kilometers to hear a middle school band perform "Circle of Life"
  26. you've managed to get an entire busload of college band students to sing 'Hakuna Matata'
  27. you know exactly where you were on June 15, 1994

The Fox and the Hound

  1. you've organized a public recital of "Goodbye may seem forever"
  2. you know what model and year Slade's car was.
  3. you have one.
  4. you can list at least 50 differences between Big Mama and 'Bambi's Owl.

101 Dalmations

  1. you like the name Cadpig, even though it's tough to rhyme.
  2. you have done extensive reasearch and much theorizing as to the origin of the name 'Cadpig'.
  3. you have ever said 'This <food> tastes like Spot.'
  4. you think 'getting lucky' means aquiring a dalmation plushie.
  5. you have a videocassette entitled 'the best of Cadpig'
  6. the best philosophy teacher you've ever had was Cadpig (maybe this category should be called 'Cadpig')
  7. you know the other movie that Jock and Peggy were in


  1. you wear a fursuit in the shower
  2. you don't recognize yourself in the mirror without your fursuit on.
  3. you spend more on Halloween than on Christmas.
  4. you feel naked without a collar.
  5. If you've ever wished that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would do another live action rock concert tour like they did in 1990. (Cloudchaser)
  6. you wear a tail *under* your pants.
  7. If there is not one single suit, tie, dress or other article of clothing in your closet, just Fursuits. (Cloudchaser)
  8. you pretend to be a Goth so people will stop asking you about your collar.
  9. you don't have to remove your fursuit to use the restroom.
  10. you wear a mask more often than shoes.
  11. you judge a ball game by the performance of the mascots.
  12. you've ever put flea-killers on your fursuit.
  13. you've ever made an ad hoc tail. (or a disposable tail, for that matter.)
  14. you grow your hair long enough to form an ad hoc tail
  15. you wore a tail to your wedding.
  16. you only wear a fursuit on days ending in 'y'.
  17. you have collars, but your dogs don't.
  18. your closest friends fail to recognize you when you aren't wearing your fursuit.
  19. your fursuit is worth more than your car.
  20. you keep a rabies tag on your keychain.
  21. ALL of your pants have tailsleeves.
  22. your fursuit has a better air conditioner than your house.
  23. a cop asks for your license and registration, and you show him the rabies tag on your keychain.
  24. If your bathtub has ever overflowed because you forgot to clean out the furtrap. (Cloudchaser)
  25. you get no trick-or-treaters at Halloween because your werewolf costume is too realistic.
  26. you've ever been rollerblading dressed as a polar bear
  27. you are willing to spend thousands of dollars on schooling just to learn how to do facial appliances to do a fursuit closer to anatomically correct (Akira Shima)
  28. you think it only makes sense for Goths to were dog collars (Akira Shima)


  1. you find yourself singing the hampster dance tune... (some of us have gone as far as burning it on cdr's :)) (Slick Fox)
  2. you watch Tiny Toons like most people watch Baywatch.
  3. your teacher looks at you when she mentions the behaviors of animals. (Slick Fox)
  4. your class body refurs to you as an animal. (Slick Fox)
  5. Your teacher has to correct your spelling of 'for' because your spell checker keeps over looking the work 'fur'. (Slick Fox)
  6. you've developed a nervous tic that manifests when you see popeye on Acme Hour.
  7. you can't say why, but you're sure that Jar Jar Binks is Furry.
  8. you have ever submitted a "You Might Be A Furry If..." joke (katanawolf)
  9. you can't decide who the best Star Wars character is: Chewbacca or that Ewok
  10. your opinion or your enlish teacher shot up several notches when you found out she liked 'The Land Before Time'
  11. you have a strong oppinion wether or not 'The Land Before Time' is furry
  12. you've ever bought a 'Mint Condtion' McDonalds Toy on e-bay
  13. you have a nonmorphic lion model for quake deathmatches
  14. you have been to more that 11 ConFurences.
  15. you have an 'authentic' replica of a Freelands coin.
  16. you became uncontrollably violent when you discovered that Bobby's World pre-empted 101 Dalmatian's 6:30 am time slot.
  17. you go 30 minutes out of your way to see the sign for Wolf's Gym.
  18. nothing escapes your attention at a ConFurence, except sleep and nutrition.
  19. you have ever spent more than 40 hours straight on FurryMUCK.
  20. you use FurryMUCK as a night-light.
  21. you pass up a new episode of The X Files in favor of yet another rerun of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. (Dingo Jay)
  22. you've written furry music.
  23. you visit this page more often than your favorite search engine.
  24. the making of your Jack-O-Lantern involved painting a cucumber orange.
  25. you can correctly pronounce houghnhnm.
  26. you modeled the pattern on your jack-o-lantern after Kevin Dewclaw.
  27. you've written a thesis comparing Disney's and Warner Brothers' styles of animation and characterization.
  28. people think you're a miser until they see your furry collection.
  29. your best friends' names are "Orange Fox" and "Kitsume" and none of you are either Native American or Japanese.
  30. you know what a Kitsume is, and why it is important for them to have lots of tails.
  31. you can post to a.f.f. without using your hands.
  32. you intentionally avoid washing your car so that you can write 'Yiff' in the dust.
  33. you cheer on the athletes during a showing of Anamalympics (Joshua D. Cutlip)
  34. your Darth Vader mask has an enlogated muzzle.
  35. you keep trying to submit your website to itself.
  36. you've succeeded in submitting your website to itself.
  37. you gaze longingly at cereal boxes that you have no intention of buying
  38. you have more than $20 riding on the Budweiser iguanas
  39. you spent $15 to get an Easter basket package that included a 5-cent cardboard bunny mask.
  40. you try to figure out what every movie star musician public figure would be if they transformed (Akira Shima)
  41. you have figured out how to be a furry character in every role playing game (Akira Shima)
  42. you hate Magic the Gathering Card game but buy it for the occasional furry art (Akira Shima)
  43. you have bought book solely on the fact that there was an animals name in the title only to be devastated that it had nothing to do with it (Akira Shima)
  44. you cannot name all 50 states but you can name 50 furry artists (Akira Shima)
  45. you go out of your way to find an outdated and mostly useless Gaming book because you like the furry art in it better (Akira Shima)
  46. you think Werewolf The Apocalypse from WhiteWolf Studios is the Holy grail of gaming (Akira Shima)
  47. you bought it solely based on the name alone (Akira Shima)
  48. you cannot install anything useful on your hard drive because it has been eaten up by all the furry art and writing (Akira Shima)


  1. getting scratched behind your ear turns you on. (Slick Fox)
  2. you like to watch Blues clues more than your sister. (Slick Fox)
  3. you would rather piss on a tree or fire hydrant rather than in a toliet. (Slick Fox)
  4. when someone threatens you, you call the ASPCA instead of the police. (Paul Chism)
  5. you feel the uncontrollable urge to howl when you hear sirens.(Paul Chism)
  6. you hide when you see the dogcathcher coming down the street.(Paul Chism)
  7. the dogcather tries to catch you.(Paul Chism)
  8. you absolutely require 14 hours of sleep during the day, then only want to eat or go outside at night.
  9. you model your hair after Lindesfarne, Ozzymandius, or Daffy.
  10. you are quite sure that the voices in your head are anthropomorphic
  11. you quote Boojum during nonfurry TS
  12. you think nonfurry TS is an oxymoron
  13. you schedule your yearly physical with a vet.
  14. you think the key to a good relationship has something to do with scents.
  15. you've had hair transplants FROM your scalp.
  16. you think licking someone's hair is a socially acceptable way of showing affection.
  17. 'Wolfe' was the last name of the only person you've ever seriously dated.
  18. you model your fingernails after your avatar's claws.
  19. you thing shaving is masochistic.
  20. you would rather eat pet food then candy.(
  21. you understand the finer points of the philosophical differences between ALF and AFF.
  22. you judge the value of a day not by the quality of the TV shows, or the relative location to Friday, but by the average number of postings to a.l.f. and a.f.f.
  23. you know how to raise your hackles
  24. your idea of a TV dinner is a heaping bowl of kibble.
  25. the tip of your red ponytail is died black or white
  26. you refer to seasons by the amount of fur you have, loose, or gain.
  27. you've ever given yourself a headache by drying you hair.
  28. you use milkbones in leu of toothbrushes
  29. you can't determine someone's gender wile upwind of them.
  30. you think the best way to 'mark your territory' at the office is the old-fashioned one.
  31. you Yiff* at football games.
  32. you accidentally said "Eat manure" instead of shit.(HyBrithe)
  33. you think calling someone a "human" is an insult.(HyBrithe)
  34. you go for that reeeeeeally Mediterranean look
  35. your normal overnight luggage includes kitty litter, cat food, flea bath, cat toys, and no cat
  36. you've started taping the audio to Newsradio
  37. you can't decide between Trix and Frosted Flakes for breakfast
  38. you take preventative medicine for heartworms.
  39. you believe in love at first scent.
  40. you have ever yelped from sitting on your tail only to realize that you do not have one (Akira Shima)
  41. when being given a shot the people in the emergency room are truly convinced there is an animal in your room (Akira Shima)
  42. your roommate has ever yelled at your cat for sharpening it's claws but you are the real culprit (Akira Shima)
  43. you think the saying "You are nothing but animal" is a compliment (Akira Shima)
  44. Your best friends have always been animals and those strange humans confound you (Akira Shima)
  45. the closest you will refer to yourself as a human is "Tool Using Mammal" (Akira Shima)
  46. you think leash laws are unconstitutional (Akira Shima)
  47. you have ever stopped short of going into a store because it said no animals allowed (Akira Shima)
  48. you insist on sitting on the floor at someone's home where animals are not allowed on the furniture (Akira Shima)


  1. you loved 'Godzilla' because you thought he was an anthropomorphic lizard.
  2. you loved Godzilla because it starred the voice of Simba.
  3. you hated Godzilla because it starred the voice of Simba.

the Taco Bell dog

  1. you started eating at Taco Bell solely because of that little dog.
  2. you have more Taco Bell collector's cups than coffee mugs.
  3. you wish you were a Taco Bell Mexican Pizza.
  4. you have been forced to discover 101 uses for the Taco Bell combo cup.
  5. you've tried to cash in on the 'Free dog with every purchase' offer
  6. you subscribed to cable, just in case

Space Jam

  1. you lust of Lola Bunny and are upset to find absolutly NO nude pics of her on the net. (Tim C.)
  2. you'll take any excuse to go to Wal-Mart and see the Back to School ads featuring Lola Bunny.
  3. you create a newsgroup to debate about who is more attractive, Lola Bunny or Minerva Mink
  4. you don't know what Cindy Crawford looks like, but could draw Lola Bunny in your sleep.
  5. you give out anatomically correct Easter bunnies


  1. you've ever had a funeral for a plushie.
  2. your family members disown you for finding holes in your plushies. (Slick Fox)
  3. getting scratched behind your ear turns you on. (Slick Fox)
  4. in a fire, you would save your plushies before your family (katanawolf)
  5. you buy Plushies more often than gas.
  6. you're a bachelor with more Plushies than your eight-year-old niece.
  7. you own a life sized, homemade Plushie from the movie 'Balto'
  8. you've ever spent more than $100 trying to win that Plushie at the town fair.
  9. your teddy bear is bigger than your bed.
  10. you sleep on the floor because your Plushies and real animals need the bed space (Akira Shima)


  1. your pets are more exotic than your spices.
  2. your pets are all toilet trained, but you still have to empty the litterbox every day.
  3. you have collars, but your dogs don't.
  4. you keep a female field mouse in a birdcage as a pet.
  5. your cat can destroy your apartment and you just clean up but your friend spills water on the floor and you go left on them (Akira Shima)
  6. you think That carpet covered cat towers are wonderful decorator touches to your home (Akira Shima)
  7. you pets enjoy a higher standard of living then you do (Akira Shima)


  1. you pronounce 'Jiffy' 'Yiffy'
  2. you keep misspelling 'scentence'
  3. you've ever had to explain to a mundane what a mundane is
  4. you know the difference between a kitsune and a kitsume
  5. you quote Boojum during Quake Deathmatches
  6. someone mentions being in the 'slammer', and you think they mean a pound.
  7. you quote Boojum in everyday conversation.
  8. you quote Boojum during Quake Deathmatches
  9. you speak in Furry Code.
  10. you use more than 100 words to describe what a Fauve is.
  11. you can spell 'digitigrade', but not 'ankle'.
  12. If you howl when greeting friends. (Cloudchaser)
  13. If you refer to being angry as barking, roaring or yowling and being excited (positively or negatively), angry or frightened as raising the fur on the back of one's neck. (Cloudchaser)
  14. If instead of expressions such as "That really makes me happy!" for example, you say things like "That really wags my tail!" (Cloudchaser)
  15. You forget how to speak in the human tongue but it dose not matter because your friends are used to the fact you speak in cat anyway {meows facial expressions} (Akira Shima)
  16. you use the words in the Lapine Glossary from Watership down in real life (Akira Shima)
  17. you wonder why if the politically correct movement was replacing all derogatory remarks with PC alternatives then why is the word human still used (Akira Shima)
  18. you use the syllable "Fur" like the little blue guys used "Smurf" (Akira Shima)
  19. your daily vocabulary has mutated to AnyFur, EveryFur, Fursonally, Fur(for), Furry(now an all purpose adjective)Etc... (Akira Shima)

Other movies and TV

  1. you think Bambi had a great rack
  2. you watch more cartoons than your 8-year-old grandson does.
  3. you have recurring dreams about Frosted Flakes commercials
  4. you taped your fourth copy of 'Babe' over your only copy of 'Braveheart'.
  5. you've ever paid more than $100 for a tape of an animated feature.
  6. you think George Lucas's best work was 'Howard the Duck'.
  7. you know the lyrics to "Use Advantage," but not to "Rockin' Robin"
  8. you bought a CD writer to record the opening songs of your favorite furry shows.
  9. you tape furry commercials.
  10. you tape The Quack Pack while you are at work, then don't have the heart to tape over them after you watch it.
  11. you have a videocassette entitled 'the best of M'ress'
  12. you know every one of "the Tramp's" names
  13. you have a chronic, irrational fear of dip.
  14. you would have to guess at the color of Aladdin's hair, but know how many stripes Raja had
  15. you can name 14 things wrong with the Kilrathi from the Wing Commander movie

*Yiff (yif) n. 1. to suddenly exclaim the word 'Yiff' 2. to suddenly exclaim the word 'Yiff' with a high pitched voice.