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Date: Fri, 06 Oct 2000 00:30:48 -0000
From: "Scrimno Longbow" (thrr_gilag@hotmail.com)
Subject: Those late nights prob'ly ain't healthy

I'm a night owl (night otter?). Always have been. Problem is that with school during the day, I couldn't endure many sleepless nights. So when Summer vacation came around, I became veritably noctournal. Since I was basically the only one awake at the wee hours, I spent a lotta time online. Many of my furry enterprises I conducted online in MU*s with some furs across the globe where it was daylight. When my "vacation" ended and it was time to go back to day livin', I couldn't sleep at night or stay awake during the day. This led to many nights such as this: I'd lay down in my bed, but toss and turn for many hours. Sometimes I woke up in weird places. Like backwards in my bed, on the floor (still with a blanket and pillow!), leanin' against the wall. A couple times I awoke sittin' at my computer with it turned on (and a keyboard imprint on my forehead). Once, when I found myself at my computer, I was checking my forehead for the almost familiar waffle pattern when I noticed that I was connected to the internet. Not only that, but somehow I had opened the MUCK shortcut on my desktop. Apparently I've been idle too long so I got booted off. That weekend, when I could stay awake as long as I want, I contacted one of my MUCK buddies because I haven't talked to her in a while. For no reason, she was acting pretty yiffy. I asked her what was up, and she said, "What? Don't you remember? That TS the other day was amazing!"

Date: Sun, 14 Jan 2001 06:08:36 -0000
From: "BenjaminA Rodriguez"
Subject: New Jokes

Well, noticing the current stock at the pharmacy where I work, I began thinking about a few odds & ends of life. Specifically, why is it that exactly 2 nanoseconds after teh Christmas Singing Bass gos on 75% off sale is it that we introduce the Valentine's day crap?

Then I took a look at one of the perennial favorites of the day dedicated to a guy that got beheaded by the Romans, Sweethearts. eah, you know 'em. those necco wafer thingies, candies shaped like hearts with cutesy slogans on 'em?

Well, this year there's bee a chage. I noticed a *new* message on one. "e-mail me"... they updated love expressed in consumables for the dgital age! Now... What if they updated Sweethearts candy for the Furry Crowd?


"Let's TS!"
"I'm not spade"
"Foxy Lady"
"Soaked Fur" (Yeah, baby!)
etc... etc.. but then.. wha about the FurVERTS? Well, their little cutsey messages can get downright disturbing...
"Eat Me! (I like it!)"
"Cover me in spooge!"
"Into Bondage"
"Nice sheath"
"I'm inflatable!"

And then there's there's the Plushies involved with this holiday... oy vey...

From: "Midnight Angel"
Date: Wed Feb 28, 2001 6:16pm
Subject: Panda Joke

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots at waiters as they pass by.

As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot at my waiters and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I'm a panda! Look it up!"

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

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