Furry Humor Archive (by Colm the Canine Comedian)

Site Map

You Might Be A Furry
You Might Be A Scaly
It's a Bad Con When...
--Raptivo's Response
Too Much Mucking
Short Stories
Top Ten Lists
Song Parodies
Adults Only
Adult Comics

Online Comics
Reccomended Comics
Daily Comics
Semi-Daily Comics
Weelky Comics
Monthly Comics
Periodic Comics
Inactive Comics
Comic Of The Month

The Lion King humor
--You Might Be a Fan If...
--The Lion's Kin
--Intelligence Test
--Villian Application

The Secret of Nimh humor
--Nimh Drinking Game
--Nimh Sequels
--Pinky, Brain, and Nimh

Cat Jokes
--Cat Domination
--Cat Jokes
--Cat's Diary
--What are they?

Dog Jokes
--Dogs and Light bulbs
--If Dogs Could Talk
--What are they?
--Dog Letters to God

Newsgroup Postings
--Animal Sounds
--Dumb Furs

Wav Files

Click to subscribe to The
Furry Humor Egroup




to be furry | not to be furry | Scar is better than Simba | advantages to being a 15 year old fur-fan! | downsides to being a 15 year old fur-fan. | Sexually Explicit lines in TLK | Your Cat has "Dipped the 'Nip" | The top 5 most sexual lines in starfox 64 | The Top Ten Rejected Titles For "The Secret of Nimh II: Timmy to the Rescue" | The Top (only) Ten Good Things About The Secret of Nimh II: Timmy to the Rescue" | Top Ten Good\Bad Things About Being Born a Furry


The top ten reasons to be a furry fan -by Colm

10.Them yiffy babes
9.Not having to differentiate between you and your pet when buying food
8.The ability to carry on a good conversation about the Lion King with children
7.Playing fetch is just so much darn fun! (by
Oren the Otter)
6.Those collars are coming back in style
5.Never wanting for something to cuddle
4.Costume contest Prize money
3.No furry has ever won a Darwin award.
2.The chance to be the first furry Darwin award winner


The top ten reasons not to be a furry fan -by Colm

10. 20-1 male-female ratio at cons
9.those bleedin Plushophiles invading 'our' con
8.getting a rash from the facepaint
7.yanked tails, tails in doors, tails in chairs.
6.some people just can't tell the difference between Balto and Barney
5.the primary communication network is the ever-so-reliable internet
4.Pebble the Penguin*
3.Pebble the Penguin was made by Don Bluth
2.exhorbant dry cleaning bills for 'unusual garments'
1.Disney cut half of Vitani's lines

(*This was written before Nimh 2)

The top twenty reasons why Scar is better than Simba -by Colm

20.Scar was able to think "outside the box" to accomplish his goals
19.Scars wife was far more loyal
18.Simbas wife routinely defeated him in physical combat
17.Scars legacy will last far longer than Simba's
16.Simba was way too wishy washy
15.Scar's sidekicks could eat Simba's sidekicks
14.Scar had about three times as many allies as Simba
13.Scar is about five times smarter than the rest of the pride combined
12.Scar sang for himself
11.Zira sang for herself
10.Scar as a much larger vocabulary, even with fewer lines
9.Scar's heir may not be much, but he was male.
8.Scar's heir managed to conquer Simba's heir before she had even begun to rule
7.Scar could tell that his firstborn was incapable of rule
6.Simba got called a monkey twice, and he never noticed
5.Scar managed to call Simba a monkey without him noticing
4.Simba's daughter insulted herself pointlessly three times in one breath
3.Scar doesn't have a daughter with a self esteem problem
2.Scar inspired too many would-be leaders (Kovu, Zira, Nuka), while Simba didn't father one (Kiara!? I think not.)
1.Scar's heir won out in the end

Top Ten advantages to being a 15 year old fur-fan! -by Roland Bloodthunder
10. No one looks at you funny when you buy stuff based on the mascot's appearance.
9. No one objects to you getting a second ID for you in your fursuit.
8. No one objects to letting you use your fursuit as the school's mascot.
7. You used the schools money to build that suit.
6. Wearing your fursuit suddenly becomes a demostration of "school spirit", and everyone starts encouraging it.
5. The ultimate "teacher's pet" prank...
4. You'd be surprized at exactly how much money your parents are willing to give you for your "halloween costume"
3. No one can figure out what "yiff" means, and no one seems to object when you use it in a sentence. Or barking or yelping or meowing for that matter.
2. When you start to act like a fox (or dog or cat or whatever you are) everyone thinks that it is "cool".
1. Everyone thinks it's perfectly normal adolecent behavior when you start to mark trees.
Top Ten downsides to being a 15 year old fur-fan! -by Roland Bloodthunder
10. Your parents won't uprage your computer's software so that you can watch online cartoons.
9. You have to keep "the hampster dance" website in another window to disguise what furry site you are REALLY looking at.
8. Sometime's you get caught anyway, no matter how hard you try #9.
7. Can't join Furrymuck.
6. Even if you COULD do #7, you couldn't, um, enjoy it to the full extent.
5. ALL the furry comic books are for Adults Only.
4. All the good furry websites are for Adults Only.
3. There are just some jokes that make fun of things you can't relate to yet...
2. When you get caught drawing furries in art class, you get in BIG trouble, no matter HOW much you plead that it was just a "Female Anatomical Study".
1. Your parents refues to let you go to ConFurences. Not like you could get in anyway...

(by Jay Matthew Fenster)
For those of you who asked, "Can You Feel the Love Tonight," I have a message... THAT AIN'T EXACTLY LOVE!
Even in a wholesome movie like Disney's The Lion King there's absolutely tons of secxx just waiting to be found by voyeurs like me who have nothing better to do with their time. Here's the
Top Ten Sexually Explicit Lines in The Lion King.
10. Oh, no, not the birdie boiler!!!
9. Pumbaa, not in front of the kids.
8. Here's the bottom line, our trio's down to two.
7. First, I'm gonna take your stick.
6. She doesn't have to know. Nobody has to know.
5. This is just for you and your Daddy.
4. I hate dangling!
3. That lousy Mufasa, I won't be able to sit down for a week!
2. Lie down before you hurt yourself.
1. Slimy, yet satisfying

You know that Your Cat has "Dipped the 'Nip" a little Too Much when...-by BAR-1
10. He replaces the cat-door with a small bead curtain.
9. He begins printing communist literature: "Kittens of the World Unite!"
8. He purrs, then clutches the ground screaming "Holy $#!+, it's an EARTHQUAKE!!"
7. He begins playing the sitar, and marries Yoko Ono.
6. No longer averse to dogs. In fact, is now quite fond of Scooby Doo.
5. Still lands on his feet after a fall.... but now tends to stagger around and bump into things when on floor.
4. Uninterested in catching real mice, because he can't get a buzz off of them.
3. Previous finicky eating replaced by taste for nothing but brownies.
2. Converts his scratching post into giant bong....
and the nuber 1 way to tell when your Cat has a "Plush Mousie on his Back"....
1. Instead of knocking over Christmas Tree, your Cat tries to roll it into a joint!!

The top six most sexual lines in starfox 64-by Fiver106
6. 'Lets have a little fun'
5. 'I'll do you fast,peppy old pal'
4. 'Fox,get this guy off me!'
3. 'Your father helped me like that too.'
2. 'Why dont you come down here falco?'
1. 'I think you look better in a tank.'

The Top Ten Rejected Titles For "The Secret of Nimh II: Timmy to the Rescue"-by Colm McSky
10. The Secret of Nimh II: Timmeh
9. The Blair Nicodemus Project
8. Secret of Nimh Episode II: the Thorny Menace
7. Bravemouse
6. The Nimhtrix
5. The Reservoir Rats
4. 101 Rodents
3. The Road to El Thorn Valley
2. The Land Before Time XXIV: Littlefoot meets Timmy
1. Mrs. Brisby's new Groove.

The Top (only) Ten Good Things About The Secret of Nimh II: Timmy to the Rescue"-by Colm McSky
10. Elizabeth Hartman was already dead.
9. Timmy's voice was not done by MacCauly Caulkin.
8. They didn't ressurect Nicodemus or Jenner.
7. Timmy was portrayed as being (slightly) smarter then Timmeh
6. Timmy's girlfriend wasn't named Rose, and he didn't meet her on a luxurious cruise liner.
5. There were no product placement ads from Coke or Pepsi.
4. There were no anime 'action lines' anywhere in the movie.
3. Don Bluth had nothing to do it.
2. No McDonalds toy deal.
1. No "Timmy to the Rescue" ride at Universal Studios.

*Timmy from South Park is often spelled Timmeh, to distinguish him from other Timmys.

Top Ten Good\Bad Things About Being Born a Furry - by Talon
10. Having refined senses. (Human society stinks)
9. Pack behavior.
8. No one in your family notices you're a furry.
7. Having a natural tolerance to raw meat.
6. A Preference to get your food fresh from the forest.
5. Looking at humans as just another animal.
4. Having no difference between picking something up with your hands or mouth
3. Using your tongue and paw to groom yourself.
2. Marking your territory.
1. Having never been HUMAN. *

*As I look upon the masses of humanity, with their strange behavior never before seen in nature, I wonder what it would be like to be one of them. Then I look at the individuals, all acting differently but still trying to achieve the same goals, and I am thankful that I am me. (I'm fairly sure that this is a good thing)


  Best viewed 800x600 or higher in IE 4 or higher

All webpages are property of Colm McSky and may not be distributed without permission. All content (jokes, etc) is property of its author and cannot be distributed without permission.