Furry Humor Archive (by Colm the Canine Comedian)

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The Lion King humor
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You know youre a tlk fan when... By- Colm McSky
you think that Kiara alone justifies any lion/blonde jokes.
you know what the beer joke is in Simba's Pride.
you think the only reason Shenzi, Bonzai, Scar, Nuka, Kovu, Zera, an Ed all failed to kill Simba is because Vitani hasn't had a try yet.
you think Ed, Edd and Eddie means the horse, the hyena, and the radio psychiatrists dog
you can list five physical similarities between Vitani and Cadpig
you spent your Disneyworld vacation in the arcade playing the Lion King Game
you spent $5000 on a brand new PIII to emulate the SNES Lion King Game
you have ever performed a 'Rafiki Lee' maneuver
you think blonde jokes are unfair to lions
Scar changed your accent from deep southern to slightly English
Scar singlehandedly improved your vocabulary by 30 words.
you decide to start watching the Arsenio Hall Show, since Timon and Pumbaa seem to like it so much.
you have a videocassette entitled 'the best of Vitani'
you think "Best of Vitani" is redundant
you can recite the entire Lion King script, but can't remember how Titanic ended.
you headbang to any part of the Lion King soundtrack
you thought Nathan Lane's crowning achievement was Timon in The Lion King.
your idea of a perfect woman has sapphire eyes, golden fur, and a Swahili name. (with apologies to G. Raymond Eddy)
you use a tape of The Lion King to fine tune your TV color and contrast
your internet browser defaults to www.lionking.org, www.kimba.org,or www.vitani.org
you know which of the previous URL's is nonexistent
you go to www.vitani.org anyway, just in case
you think it's cool that Mufasa endorses cell phones
you spent more than $1000 (or regional equivalent) to get to New York to see The Lion King on Broadway.
you went more than 100 kilometers to hear a middle school band perform "Circle of Life"
you've managed to get an entire busload of college band students to sing 'Hakuna Matata'
you know exactly where you were on June 15, 1994

You might be a TLK Fan If... By- Nala

You've seen the movie over 100 times and have 6 copies.
You pitch a fit if someone drinks out of that special TLK mug you bought for yourself....including Garndma...
You go to Wal-Mart and beg for the ad for SP...and get it ;)
You've actually taped all the AoT&P and said you would watch them ;)
Saw Tom and Huck just for "Stand By Me"
Get asked about this "Lion King fetish" all the time
Think that Simba or Kovu is the HTOFL ;)
Actually met someone over the Net and they're a TLK fanatic and you're dating
Call Wal-Mart to make sure that SP is in on DVD
You actually have license plates with Nala on them ;)

(and you *must* be a tlk fan if you understand all those acronyms -Colm)

You know youre a tlk fan when... By- Caji 'Kat
1) Your wife's nickname on Thursdays is "Nala".
2) When parting with house guests you exclaim, "If you ever come back, we'll kill yah!"
3) When getting ready for a hot date, you make use of the Lion King shaving kit and perfume.
4) you know what that is ;)
5) You've well overgrown your LK pjs but still wear them under your business suit.
6) You respond to your screen name, but have long forgotten your real one.
7) You reguarly converse with dead guys.
8) On a steady diet of zebra and grubs.
9) you have the image of a character permenately burned into your monitor.
10) You've denounced your religion to join the First Church of Simba

You know youre a tlk fan when... By- PJSlasher
1) if you have enough TLK coloring books to be able to rip out the pages and wallpaper your room.
2) if you have ever in a fit of rage thrown a plushie across the room, then later appologised to it and tried to heal it's wounds.
3) if you have ever gotten a Lion King Tattoo
4) if you got the said tattoo someplace which cannot be legally displayed in public
5) if your room has ever been called "The Lion King Shrine" on a local or national news broadcast
6) if you have ever written one of these lists and only later discovered every one applies to you
7) if you own enough Lion King Plushies to make into a mattress
8) if you have ever said, upon being informed of the current Powerball Jackpot, "Dang, do you know how much that would buy at Animal Kingdom????"
9) if more then half the used memory on your computer is saved Lion King Fanfics
10) if you have every beaten "Paddle Bash" on Lion Level
11) if you own a WWMD wristband (What Would Mufasa Do. also works with Simba or Aiheu or Mano)
12) if you learned to build a website for the sole purpose to make a Lion King site
13) if you have ever had a near death experience where the "tunnel of light" was replaced by Mufasa with the shining background
14) if you have ever seen someone rent TLK in front of you at a video store, and when you got up to the counter you got the person's name, number, and address to make sure they return the sacred video in prime condition
15) if your first words after a small fire was put out in your dorm was "Thank Aiheu the plushies were safe"
16) if you are reading this list hoping to somethign that DOESN'T apply to you
17) if you have ever used a list like this as a checklist of "things to do"
18) if you have ever done physical harm to someone for saying "man, lion king is just for kids" (and you would be well justified)
19) if you go through boxes at your house and keep finding plushies you had forgotten you owned
20) if you haev ever found plushies someone else owned but didn't return it
21) if you have every used one of the folloeing names in casual conversation: Muffy, Taka, Simby, Nal, Saffie, Aiheu, Mano, Vit, Nuk, Tim (for Timon), Pumb, or Zir.
22) if you bought a CD player for your car for the sole purpose to be able to play "Rhythm of the Pride Lands" which you can't find the tape for.
23) same as 16
24) if you haev gone from ordering your food "Medium Well" to "Rare" because you want to get a better feel for the "real way to eat meat"
25) if you have ever considered the question of why the Kissing Nala and Simba and the Kissing Kiara and Kovu have reversed polarities, so that Nala and Kiara kiss, and so do Simba and Tkovu
26) if the above revelation made you wonder if the people at disney read and liked "The Games Lionesses Play" and "Guys Night Out"
 

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